I want my mama to know (that I know)

I ram insults into our conversations
Run circles around your points
Scream curses I would be scared to think out loud
And deepen the ache in your joints

You cut
The peels of my mangoes
Drain
The last of my vomit down the sink
Pour out
All tiredness into your smiles
And I
Struggle with not flinching away
From your hugs too often

Lord, I worry that I do not know how to love right,
If I know how to love
At all

I know the language of devotion
From the shape of your hands cupping mine

I’m not bleeding
(All this was water, once)
Just crying with my heart

I want to burn down the world
Maybe it will make my anger finally look like love?