Preface

My father died on the night of 4th April 2021 in Dubai; it was Easter. It was woefully unexpected and our family was shattered at once and forever. We were four of us and none of us by his side. Like him, we were unaware that Death was waiting patiently at his bedside.Waiting for him to close his eyes one last time. He passed in his sleep. His heart stopped.
His death was without pain, without preamble and peaceful. Forgive me, if I cannot count this as a blessing yet. It has been more than a year since his passing and as I type these words.
This book began on the 5th April 2021, in the airport as I waited to travel to him. I am his eldest and was in India. There was an elderly gentleman at the boarding gates so much to his likeness, I struggled to keep my composure. He was in his 70’s, balding, wore a collared t-shirt, formal trousers and was buying wireless headphones. He was unsure as the salesperson explained the features. Throughout their entire conversation, he remained uncertain and only debated the price. It was the only feature he understood and he bought it at the end. He would walk the entire length of the boarding hall a few times. One of his trousers’ cuff was caught in his sock. This would bring tears to my eyes.
I would blink them back and turn away only to see a family like ours had been - an expatriate family - a family traveling together and away from home. It would brutally hit me then, that my family was irrevocably broken. I would chant quietly - Daddy is dead. Daddy is dead. Daddy is dead.
I knew he was dead and yet, I didn’t believe it.
My mind was crumbling. It was scrambling.
He was gone and I began to see his reflection everywhere, in everything.
That’s how this book began. My mind began to collect crumbs of him, in memory, in reference. I was desperate and I began invoking him.
My father never spoke of himself, his childhood, his journey. His silence, now, stretched into eternity is final and cruel. So, as you the reader, learn of my father through my words, know that I am piecing him back through those very words.