My Forever Friend

I loved you and revelled in you
but soon in life I got scared of you
and what all you might bring upon me
again and again

the dirty glances
the unwanted advances
the leering, the staring
the uncomfortable touches

men violated me, because of you
you were desirable I was told
you attracted attention
you gave the wrong signals
you made them weak
you instigated them to touch you, against their wishes

It was all your fault
you were wrong
or so I believed
for years turning into decades

I hated you
despised you
began hiding you
I unfriended you
cut off from you

I abused you in all possible ways
to punish you
I was mean and harsh
bitchy and unkind
rude and nasty

I behaved as if you didn't exist
as if you didn't matter
and when you reached out
I ignored you
I turned deaf to your pleas

today I know
you were never at fault
you did nothing wrong
you my dearest body
were always an ally

you helped me experience this life
which may not have been always wonderful
yet you exist in me
you are a part of me
and I am visible because of you

you also made it possible
for another life to get created
in the form of my awesome son
for which I am tremendously grateful

could we start afresh
would you give me another chance
and allow me, once again
to love you
to revel in you
just the way I did
when I was born as you?