It Lingers'

Fingers plummeted to my head deep,
Needle-thin truths pricking through memory,
Even ruin refused to linger,
And the legacy halted the crown;

I stood below a burning sky,
But things were falling down,
Where symphony talked back to past,
And I failed to keep it up, as it was;

One month of kindness and ecstasy,
But the next is cold and cursed,
Blocked the stars from taking me to the ocean,
Now I'm all in chaos and echoes of melancholia;

Shadows hum with borrowed light,
But my soul is stiched somewhere in the silence,
Now tears, are unanswered to the question that was unbidden,
Frills and thrills are now someone's crime;

My travails were wasted,
So did my expectations sink,
Now the only thing my mind utters,
Could have, would have, should have?

No, but I could have had it all my life,
And I was never fine, just to claim time was clever,
At twenty-two on the wall,
God's only truth was that, I wouldn't have started if I couldn't?

And now that I'm in stygian,
I'm scared to even keep my eyes open,
But words kill like weapon,
And I shrink into a softer version of pain;

But I miss the peace,
I once possessed,
Broken soul, never unpretty,
I regret this everyday;

I lost close nine,
And at midnight, they come knocking,
But I keep excoriating the time,
Like ghosting those faces...