The heavy dinner was more like revenge for the blandness of a working day. It consoled my wounded pride and my ignored stomach. It felt heavy, more on my eyelids than on my promise to stay on a good clean diet.
And then they shut.

I stood by the roadside pleading to auto drivers on a busy workday morning, wishing to be taken to Goregaon station. It was necessarily a wish for me and a paid favour on their part. Getting a ride required our paths to meet and our destinies to align. You start your day with rejections which eventually make an acceptance sweeter. And so does the ride with the destined auto driver. I took a moment and sat in the manliest way possible, relaxed and laid back. At the signal, as a familiar face approached me for money, I realized that the transwoman and the auto driver have ‘started’ their day with work, (or had they ‘ended’ it).
Was their day fulfilling during work or otherwise?

I got into the 8:57 local to Churchgate, feeling more human than ever. My chest and back pressed and rubbed on other human beings. An argument that cropped up between two young men was resolved soon. Quite natural, as none of them got space to walk off angry. Young couples romanced while old uncles watched them. There were signs of friendship evident in the loud laughter from groups of men seated on the same seats they won with physical struggle. I stood near the door with thoughts running. It is the second-best place to think after of course, the loo.
I started reflecting on life with my palms on the grab handle above.

It was about Life and Work. Are they separate? Or is one inside the other? Or maybe there is a fine line between them. Or there isn’t. How would I answer if someone asked me, how my day was? Would I narrate events at my workplace or events before or after work? Some of my thoughts were indeed muddled by regular whiffs of pungent air near specific stations. It was ironic to move fixed on a single track yet allowing my mind to wander and leave its tracks. Wasn’t there anything more to my life? Was it reduced to work and the commute alone?

The train had approached Dadar station where I usually get down. Just as I was giving myself airs about having such escalated thoughts, I noticed the Ticket Inspector on the platform. I was humbled as I landed before him towards the end of my ticketless journey.
My heart skipped a beat.

I woke up with sweat on my brow. Phew! It was all just a dream. Feeling quite relieved, I reached out for some water and prepared to get up. Maybe there is a lot more to my life; A lot more that I am yet to explore. My life was not limited to the dream. The dream was just an episode in my life.

Beep! Beep! My phone’s reminder went off. It said, “Renew monthly local train pass”. I had a smirk on my face and also left a huge sigh as an acknowledgement to move on, prepared and charged for yet another day of finding finite answers to my infinite questions.
Answers from the Mumbai Local.