How do you capture

elusive, terrible, beauty?

Contemplate in silence.

Look around.

See. Feel. Absorb.

Then switch off.

Meditate on nothing.

Snooze away.

Do other stuff.

Do nothing.

Your mind's eye sees

the beginnings of creation.

Lines, thought, forms appear.

Nebulous.

Rasp of pencil on paper

as you scribble down

concept sketches

to imprison

the fleeting, ephemeral ideas

before they vanish.

Get canvas.

Pine wood frames

Stretcher. Hammer

Stapler.

Bang bang.

Adjust focus lights.

Pencil travels again.

Hardly visible.

Scratch scratch scratch.

Rub rub.

Then wash of base color. Vivid.

Sketch even more invisible.

Lay out the colors

that work for you

Neatly in a row

Brushes of various thicknesses

and shapes.

Bowls. Palettes.

Cloth. Water.

Mediums.

There's time to disturb them.

Leave them in disarray.

For now, it feels disciplined.

Squeeze , mix, swirl apply,

slap slap slap

Or scoop out with knife.

Gloop.Mix.

Create new shades.

Thick. Gooey. Or thin and runny.

Draw the brush across canvas.

Details details.

Repeat.

Again and again

with different colors,

thicknesses.

Lose track of time.

Hydrate.

Use cloth. Mix water.

Get tired.

Rest.

Despair.

Give up for a few days.

Return refreshed

after distracting yourself

and beating yourself up

for not being

one of those magical

quick turn-around artists

that work online, live, in real time

on camera and

finish masterpieces in just hours.

My hours are days.

Terrible beauty needs

long gestation, I tell myself lamely.

Maybe I'm just lazy. Or tire easily.

It needs endorsement from me

at every stage.

Photograph, compare

with earlier look.

Forget time.

Remember to play music.

Especially when

repetitive brush strokes

could do with rhythm.

Not set in stone though.

Total silence is smooth as well

Overpaint if necessary.

Or change things around.

Visceral course shifts.

Get impatient.

Start outlines with pen and ink

in certain places.

Fill in paint where needed.

Slap on silk varnish

Or spray glossy varnish.

Add more touches on top.

Spray again.

Fuss over it

over a few days, off and on.

Then tire of it. And abandon it.

As all good work should be.

I'm usually pleased

with the work

at some point.

It pretends to follow my grand plan

but craftily adds on glamor and beauty

And inspired touches

as I bend over the canvas

guiding my eye, hands, material

to create a thing of ethereal beauty.

Its presence that's larger

than the physical painting.

It's the experience of creating it,

the very idea of it,

not just execution,

the process of its creation,

the play of light and form

and color and shade

and texture and effort

and joy that creates

this smorgasbord

of gluminous delight

that presents

a surprisingly unexpected feast

to the unaware senses

of the unsuspecting viewer.

Enjoy the banquet

that I've conjured up

for posterity.

A picture of Frozen Time.