Imprisonment of Homesickness
Amisha Ranjan
Poetry
Blue walls, gray air
Staring at the blurry roof
Anchored like an ayre
I can't move, dust off the aloof
Lost like a big ship, in a never ending bahr
My ears feel ringing, loud noises, deafening blare
In my house, but feeling imprisoned in a kloof.
A place I want to call home
Detangling my feelings with a comb
Got stuck, between the locks, trapped
Ache in my heart, I feel the pain, of being slapped
A smile flashed, feelings capped
Yet again.
I am at home
House to be precise
Stifled by its dome
Pray for another chance to choose life
Rethrow my dice
Choosing a better option, this time
Using different things to make my trime
I was denied, this life's stime.
Homesick while I am in
A house of bricks, quivering chin
Sensations like asphyxiated
Heavy weight on chest, feeling garroted
Homesick, bizarre feeling
I am in my house
It is creeping
Closer, gray air squeezing
My house's ceiling, a dreadful feeling.
Homesick, sensations like maudlin
Sick, symptoms invisible
Usual sphygmomanometer reading
Cries to deaf ears, sound waves imperceptible
Felt not seen
Understood not examined
Tearful understandings
Thermometer unable to measure it
The fever of the soul
Thoughts I scroll
"I am fine" button on the poll
Blow away the intrusive thoughts, like foam
The longing continues for a place, I could call home.
The last grain of sand clock,
Toes tied, cotton in nose
People in white
Surround me
Smell of marigold, buzzing of a bee
Hearing cries and weeping
They declared me defunct
Soul showing me its puncts
I am extant
Hear me
Four men waltz in
I feel levitating.
My life ends here, with yearning
A place, a corner, something
Anything, I could call mine
The pencil broke, marks the end of line.